Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
1. Introduction
Sociologically and psychologically, the eternal conflict in human relationships is rooted in a distorted perception of justice. When someone—whether in the household or in global politics—adopts double standards, relational dissonance is created. The human soul, by its fitrah, longs for equilibrium. If one party feels entitled to special privileges while the other is burdened with duties without appreciation, the collective nervous system suffers chronic stress. Peace can only be achieved through Emotional Reciprocity, where every individual’s rights are acknowledged fairly and equally.
Evidence from the Qur’an and Hadith :
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
"And women have rights similar to their obligations, according to what is honorable (bil-Ma'ruf)." (QS. Al-Baqarah : 228)
لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ
"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (HR. Bukhari and Muslim)
2. Lessons and Messages
Racism is not only about skin color, but about a mentality of feeling superior. In the household, racism appears when a husband feels he has a “Veto Right” to control everything without listening, or demands perfection from his wife while neglecting his own duties. Remember, as long as there is a sense of “most entitled” without a sense of “most obligated,” problems will never end. Justice in the household is a miniature of world peace.There was a husband who always demanded that his wife honor his mother extraordinarily. One day, he saw his wife crying because her own mother was ill, yet the husband often forbade his wife to visit her, citing his busy schedule. Suddenly the husband realized: he wanted his wife to be devoted to his mother, yet he was preventing his wife from being devoted to her own mother. He then embraced his wife and said, "Forgive me, I have been racist toward you. Your right to love your mother is as great as my right to love my mother." From that day on, their household was far more peaceful because justice had been upheld.A marriage without equity of rights is like an unbalanced UN Security Council. If the husband holds a “Veto Right” over all matters but refuses to bear obligations fairly, then the household will be full of failed resolutions and suppressed conflicts. The household should be a Majelis Syura, where every member’s voice is valued, every soul’s rights are fulfilled, and no one feels like a second-class citizen in their own home.A husband said arrogantly, "In this house, I am the King with Veto Rights!" His wife replied calmly, "Is that so, Your Majesty? Coincidentally, today the Queen is also using her 'Veto Right'—not to cook, not to do laundry, and not to turn on the Wi-Fi. Please, Your Majesty, use your Veto Right to stay full without eating." The husband immediately went pale and realized that Veto Rights are useless when your stomach is growling because of household racism. The lesson: Don’t use double standards if you don’t want to face the consequences yourself!
3. Conclusion
Dear brothers and sisters, the problems of the world—even at the UN level—begin with a racist heart that feels it has more rights and fewer obligations. The same applies in marriage. A husband must give his wife her rights just as he wants his own rights fulfilled. Let us erase the “Veto” mentality in the household and replace it with Mu'asyarah bil Ma'ruf (honorable companionship). If the household is just, then world peace will be easier to achieve.
والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Abu Sultan Al-Qadrie
