Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
1. Introduction
Psychologically, peace in a household is not a coincidence, but the result of a precise Divine design. Marriage is created in a “healthy” state called Mawaddah and Rahmah. Yet, when ego begins to dominate and communication is blocked, Shiqāq emerges—a rift or emotional illness. Scientifically, prolonged conflict damages a person’s mental immune system. But Islam teaches that every illness has a cure. Shiqāq is not the end of everything; it is a signal that the “body” of your marriage needs spiritual medical care to return to its calm fitrah.
Evidence from the Qur’an and Hadith:
Allah SWT affirms the original design of a household filled with love:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً
"And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy." (QS. Ar-Rum : 21)
About a restoration that is impossible in human eyes but possible for Allah:
فَاسْتَجَبْنَا لَهُ وَوَهَبْنَا لَهُ يَحْيَىٰ وَأَصْلَحْنَا لَهُ زَوْجَهُ
"So We answered him, and We granted him Yahya, and We rectified his wife for him." (QS. Al-Anbiya : 90)
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said regarding reconciliation:
أَلَا أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِأَفْضَلَ مِنْ دَرَجَةِ الصِّيَامِ وَالصَّلَاةِ وَالصَّدَقَةِ؟ قَالُوا: بَلَى. قَالَ: إِصْلَاحُ ذَاتِ الْبَيْنِ
"Shall I inform you of something better in degree than fasting, prayer, and charity? The companions said: 'Of course.' He said: 'Reconciling between people.' " (HR. Abu Dawud & Tirmidhi)
2. Lessons and Messages
Never give up on your marriage just because it is “sick.” If your body is ill, you go to a doctor, not to a cemetery. If your household is struck by Shiqāq, seek its cure in Allah. The primary condition for healing is honesty in admitting mistakes and the courage to return to the path of obedience. As long as you maintain your connection with the Creator, Allah has a thousand and one ways to mend your relationship with His creation.A man came to a scholar and said, "My wife no longer loves me, her heart has turned to stone, our home feels like a battlefield." The scholar only replied, "Repair your relationship with Allah in the middle of the night, and Allah will soften your wife’s heart by morning." The man began prostrating with long weeping. A month later he returned beaming, "Shaykh, my wife is now the gentlest person, as if Allah had just 'reinstalled' her soul." This is the secret of Wa Aṣlaḥnā Lahū Zawjahū.Conflict or Shiqāq in a household is like "Dust on Eyeglass Lenses." The dust blurs our vision, making our spouse seem full of flaws. Don’t throw away the glasses; clean the dust with the liquid of Istighfar and the cloth of Sabr. Once the dust is gone, you will see again the beauty that once made you fall in love with them.A husband was in a heated argument, then he suddenly stopped talking and smiled broadly. His wife, confused, asked, "Why are you smiling like that?" The husband replied, "I just remembered what the scholars said—if a wife is angry, it means she’s 'sick.' So I’m waiting for you to recover, because if I get angry too, it means we’re both patients in the same mental hospital!" His wife laughed, and the argument ended.
3. Conclusion
Dear brothers and sisters, remember that Shiqāq (conflict) is an abnormal condition. Do not let that illness steal your happiness. Return to Allah, honor your spouse, and seek again the Mawaddah and Rahmah that are the original design of the Creator. Because a successful household is not one without problems, but one that knows where to go home when problems come.May Allah always mend every rift between us and our spouses.
والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Abu Sultan Al-Qadrie
