Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
1. Introduction
In transpersonal psychology, a human bond has an “emotional atmosphere” that is heavily influenced by the source of values it embraces. When a marriage is built on obedience, the couple creates heart coherence. Obedience produces tranquility (sakinah), and tranquility lowers the stress hormone (cortisol). Conversely, sin creates inner turmoil that scientifically makes a person more reactive, easily angered, and less empathetic. That is why a household distant from Allah feels psychologically “hot,” because the frequency of obedience has been replaced by the turbulence of ego
.Evidence from the Qur’an and Hadith
أَفَمَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَانَهُ عَلَىٰ تَقْوَىٰ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٍ خَيْرٌ أَمْ مَنْ أَسَّسَ بُنْيَانَهُ عَلَىٰ شَفَا جُرُفٍ هَارٍ فَانْهَارَ بِهِ فِي نَارِ جَهَنَّمَ
"Is one who lays the foundation of his building on righteousness and Allah’s pleasure better, or one who lays the foundation of his building on the edge of a crumbling cliff, so that it collapses with him into the Fire of Hell?" (QS. At-Tawbah : 109)
إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَضَعُ عَرْشَهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ ثُمَّ يَبْعَثُ سَرَايَاهُ... ثُمَّ يَجِيءُ أَحَدُهُمْ فَيَقُولُ: مَا تَرَكْتُهُ حَتَّى فَرَّقْتُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ امْرَأَتِهِ، فَيُدْنِيهِ مِنْهُ وَيَقُولُ: نِعْمَ أَنْتَ
"Indeed, Iblis places his throne upon the water, then sends out his troops... Then one of them comes and says: 'I did not leave him until I succeeded in separating him from his wife.' So Iblis brings him close and says: 'You are the best.'" (HR. Muslim)
2. Lessons and Messages
The household is the last fortress of the ummah. The moral message is simple yet profound: Do not invite the enemy into your home. Sin is an invitation letter for Satan to take over the helm of your household. If we want Allah to guarantee our harmony, then we must not allow room for things that incur His wrath. Blessing is not about how big the house is, but how often Allah is mentioned within it.There was a husband who was at the peak of anger toward his wife. He was ready to utter words of separation. But when he saw his wife prostrating in tahajjud, weeping and asking Allah’s forgiveness for her shortcomings as a wife, the husband’s heart melted instantly. His anger vanished, replaced by deep emotion. He realized: as long as his wife still loves Allah, it is Allah who will turn his heart back to loving her. The wife’s obedience became the rope that bound his heart back, through Allah’s hands.A marriage built on obedience is like a house founded on solid rock. Even when economic storms or waves of trials come, it stands firm because its foundation is deeply rooted. But a marriage built on sin is like a sandcastle on the shore. It looks beautiful and grand, but the moment a small ripple of trial hits, it crumbles apart because there is no strong "binder" at its base.A young man asked an ustadz, "Ustadz, why is it that after marriage my wife nags a lot, even though when we were dating she was so gentle?" The ustadz smiled and replied, "Maybe when you were dating, you were busy sinning together, so the devil just stayed quiet because he had already won. Now that you’re married, the devil is working overtime to make you fight. The solution is easy: increase your istighfar. If you’re busy seeking forgiveness, the devil gets dizzy and moves to the neighbor’s house that rarely worships!"
3. Conclusion
Dear brothers and sisters, the choice is in our hands. Do we want Allah to guarantee our harmony, or Satan to take over the helm of our household? Obedience is a shield, while sin is a hole. Let us seal every hole of sin with repentance, so that Allah, the Most High, will safeguard our togetherness all the way to His Paradise.
والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Abu Sultan Al-Qadrie
