Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim

1. Preface

In developmental psychology, there is a behavior called prosocial behavior. Scientifically, when a person performs an altruistic act—putting others’ interests first—the brain releases endorphins and oxytocin, creating feelings of calm and happiness often called the “helper’s high.” A home dominated by mutual giving collectively lowers stress levels. Conversely, a home filled with selfishness triggers cortisol, leaving its occupants constantly feeling threatened and uneasy. Altruism isn’t just about goodness; it’s about creating a healthy mental ecosystem for every family member.Allah SWT praises those who can suppress their ego for their brothers, even when they themselves are in hardship:

وَيُؤْثِرُوْنَ عَلٰٓى اَنْفُسِهِمْ وَلَوْ كَانَ بِهِمْ خَصَاصَةٌ ۗ وَمَنْ يُّوْقَ شُحَّ نَفْسِهٖ فَاُولٰۤىِٕكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُوْنَ

“And they give preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul—it is those who will be the successful.” (QS. Al-Hashr: 9)[others]The Messenger ﷺ also placed the standard of perfect faith in our love for our brothers:

لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ

“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (HR. Bukhari & Muslim)

2. Explanation

The heroism of parents lies in their ability to instill altruism in their children from an early age. If a child is raised with ego, the home becomes a battlefield just to fight over trivial things. But if shaped with compassion, the home becomes a garden of paradise where every occupant competes to give the best to others. The miracle of life begins when we stop asking “What do I get?” and start asking “What can I give?” Imagine in a crisis, two siblings who have only one orange left. The older brother, though hungry, gives it all to his younger sibling, claiming he doesn’t like oranges. But the younger sibling, seeing his brother’s sincerity, cuts the orange in half and feeds it back into his brother’s mouth. In the end, they feel full—not from the fruit, but from the love flowing strongly between them.Egoism is like a black hole; it absorbs all light around it yet still feels empty and dark. Whereas altruism is like the sun; it keeps radiating light and energy to the planets around it without ever feeling depleted. A selfish home feels cramped even if it’s physically vast, but a home full of altruism feels spacious even if it’s physically small. Sometimes we need to teach our children with lighthearted lessons. Like a father who asks his son, if there are two apples, which one would he give to his sister. The son answers, “Depends, Dad—if she’s asleep, both are for me!” The father laughs and says, “Son, if you eat both, your stomach will be full but your heart will be lonely. But if you give the big one to your sister, your stomach will have enough, and your heart will throw a party seeing her smile!”

3. Lessons and Message

The valuable lesson for every family is that altruism is the lubricant in human relationships. The moral message: teach children to race one another in goodness, not in ownership. True wealth is not in what we gather for ourselves, but in what we share for others’ happiness. When we give, we are actually planting seeds of peace within our own soul.

4. Conclusion

My brothers and sisters, let us create the “heaven effect” in our homes by discarding selfishness and reviving altruism. Make our homes places where everyone feels safe because they know others will look after their interests. If our home is already filled with the spirit of giving, then Allah’s blessings will flow endlessly into our daily lives.

والله أعلم بالصواب

الحمد لله رب العالمين

Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

Oleh : Abu Sultan Al-Qadrie