Assalamu’alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim
1. Introduction
In social psychology, there is the concept of Social Exchange Theory. Naturally, the human brain feels stress and anxiety when there is an imbalance between what it gives and what it receives. Yet in neuroscience, fulfilling obligations or helping others actually releases oxytocin and endorphins, which create feelings of calm and happiness. Moderation in social relations is an effort to maintain “Social Homeostasis”—the equilibrium point where we do not become egoists who only demand rights, but also do not become exploited individuals who neglect our own rights. A healthy soul is one that feels meaningful because it has fulfilled its obligations, and feels valued because its rights are met.
Evidence from the Qur’an and Hadith
Allah SWT and His Messenger provide guidance so we stand firmly on the scale of social justice:
وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ
"And women have rights similar to the obligations upon them, according to what is reasonable." (QS. Al-Baqarah : 228)
أَعْطُوا الأَجِيرَ أَجْرَهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يَجِفَّ عَرَقُهُ
"Give the worker his wages before his sweat dries." (HR. Ibnu Majah)
2.Lessons and Messages
A moderate (Wasathiyah) character in society means you should be the first to fulfill obligations before being the loudest in demanding rights. A noble person will not let others suffer because of their neglected obligations. Remember, our rights are often the obligations of others, and the rights of others are our obligations. If everyone is only busy demanding rights without looking at obligations, then our social structure will collapse into egoism.Recall the story of Caliph Umar bin Khattab who personally carried a sack of wheat for a poor widow who was starving. When his guard wanted to help, Umar refused while weeping and said, "Will you bear my sin on the Day of Judgment?" Umar realized that providing aid was not just an “extra good deed,” but the obligation of a leader—if neglected, he would have usurped his people’s rights. The beauty of social relations is born when the leader feels like a servant, and the people feel their rights are protected.The balance of rights and obligations is like two bicycle wheels. The rear wheel is obligation (which propels forward), and the front wheel is rights (which steers comfort). If you only have the front wheel (constantly demanding rights), the bicycle will never move. If the rear wheel spins too fast without a proper front wheel, you will fall. Only with both wheels spinning in balance will your life’s journey reach its destination safely and comfortably.There was a husband who was very vocal in demanding his rights. “My wife, remember the religious text—you must obey and serve me!” he shouted. His wife smiled sweetly while handing him the grocery list and electricity bill, “You’re right, my dear husband, that’s my obligation. But also remember the text—husbands must provide sufficient maintenance and treat their wives with kindness. Here’s your list of obligations; the neighborhood chief and the vegetable seller are waiting out front!” The husband immediately pretended to faint. The lesson: Don’t be fluent in memorizing your own rights while suddenly getting “amnesia” when it comes to obligations. Religion is balanced, not just picking what’s convenient!
3. Conclusion
Dear brothers and sisters, moderation in social relations is the key to tranquility in communal life. Let us make fulfilling obligations a hobby, and receiving rights a blessing to be grateful for. That way, no hatred will grow, because everyone feels valued and every burden feels shared."O Allah, guide us to be light in fulfilling our obligations, and make us content in receiving our rights."
Amin ya Rabbal ‘Alamin
والله أعلم بالصواب
الحمد لله رب العالمين
Wassalamu’alaikum Warahmaullahi Wabarakatuh.
ِAbu Sultan Al-Qadrie
